There are countless women–and men–who struggle around Mother’s Day, in different ways. What’s on YOUR Mother’s Day heart, Neighbor?
What’s in Your Mother’s Day Heart?
Dearest Neighbor, if today–Mother’s Day–you are somehow feeling sad, mad, shame, depressed, deprived, or less than special, you are not alone. I feel you. I see you. I honor and salute you, all of you who carry a mother’s love in your heart, but may not be able to show or share it because something is standing between you and that nurturing. Two decades ago, as we were leaving the funeral for my son, Gavin Michael, my good friend said to me, “You’re a great mom, and he’s so lucky to have you.” It took me a few years to recognize that even though I didn’t have the opportunity to do the traditional “Mom” things, I was his mother in so many ways, ways that were merely (and vastly) different than what we humans expect or envision about Motherhood. In the years since, I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on my friend’s proclamation, and the terms Mom and Motherhood have taken on an entirely new depth for me.
A Mother’s Day Tragedy and a Birth-Death Day Celebration
Dear Neighbor, Twenty-eight years ago, a miracle happened when a child was born. When you think about everything that must occur prior to any birth, the precise nature of so many scientific details, every delivery is miraculous. When I began writing this post, I realized that twenty-eight years ago, at the exact same hour, I was timing and logging contractions … Read More
Wrapping Up and Resetting
Happy Sunday, Journeyer! As I typed those words, I thought about how some of us might not consider Sunday a happy day. As I do when I have thoughts like that, I asked myself why? The first thing that came to my mind was a co-worker’s reply to my greeting last Monday. “Good morning, did you have a nice weekend?” … Read More
Mother’s Day Alone and a Divine Appointment
Good morning, Journeyer, And for all of you who are mothers–be it in your head, in your heart, or in your home–happy Mother’s Day. I’ve been having a hard time this past week and yesterday was a mixed bag of emotions. On the one side, Beauty’s college graduation filled me with an abundance of Mama Pride and an unbridled joy … Read More
What Kind of Mother Has No Child 2016
Dear Journeyer, On May 8, 2015, I wrote this letter to you. I’m re-sharing it now, with a few time-related updates, because I feel it bears repeating again and again, year after year, until it has reached every single woman who has ever experienced the physical death of a child or the death of her Motherhood dream. Please share it with … Read More
What Kind of Mother Has No Child?
Two of my cards are in the mail, the third is filled out and waiting for Warren to read. Radio stations are running contests while television commercials are packed with everything from flowers to chocolate to fine jewelry. Everyone wants us to remember our mothers, to pay tribute to women everywhere, females who know what that classroom is all about… … Read More
What Kind of Mother?
Two a.m. Twenty-four years ago. One of the most equally exciting and excruciating times of my life began: Child labor. Some thirteen hours later, time that included sleep in spits and spurts, the timing and logging of contraction intensity and duration, a full breakfast, and a walk in the overcast, cold and drizzling day, my firstborn arrived into this … Read More
Motherhood and a Week of Wondrous Moments
“The story of a mother’s life: Trapped between a scream and a hug.” ~Cathy Guisewite Twenty-three years ago, today, I lay broken in a hospital bed. Forty-eight hours after giving birth to my firstborn. My room was filled with brightly colored flowers, symbols of celebration and sadness. I wailed when I opened the Mother’s Day card a friend sent … Read More
Trash, Twenty-Three Candles, Heavenly Hugs, and a Pizza
Today, we celebrated my eldest’s twenty-third birthday. For some reason, this one is the most dreamlike. Big Guy, Warren, and I sat in the hot tub last night, figuring out how we were going to shape Gavin’s special day. I’ve been listening all week to advertisements for our city’s annual, Downtown cleanup event. I’ve accompanied my children and swept many … Read More
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