“There’s a fire burning in my heart,” ran through my head for two days. Adele’s catchy, bluesy beat pulsated, over and over and over, and I found myself repeatedly belting out that single stance.

I was cooking a scrambled egg feast when my son asked, “Do you know any of the other words to that song?” After I let the one-liner ring out once more, he chased me down and covered my mouth. Okay, he didn’t really chase me down, but he did run up behind me and laugh as he placed his hand over my face. “I can’t take it anymore!”

The opening line of the hit title Rolling in the Deep, however, indicates that before the subject became motivated to enact revenge, she had been in a dark place of isolation. 

That is the way it tends to happen, isn’t it? We suffer a great pain, we retreat for a while, and then something spurs us into action, moves us in a new direction, one toward healing.

Which leads me to the second item which has been on my mind the past two days: Heather Armstrong’s separation from her husband.

Yes. Blogging income. Her husband left his job years ago to manage the site and its logistics.

Not so boggling, however, is the fact that they have separated.

As humans, we are in a constant state of change: We mature; our likes and dislikes change; our needs change.

Ideally that tension doesn’t lead to Adele’s burning desire for retribution, or to separation. But, let’s face it, in a two-income world, it is too easy to let stresses go untreated. Before you know it, you can’t stand the sight of your (once) soul mate, let alone tolerate being in the same room.

I’m sure you’ve heard it said before: There’s a fine line between love and hate. So, what’s a couple to do when they have reached the point of feeling like enemies?

How do you go about trying to reconcile differences?

What do you do if you have children or another family member living in the house?

Every couple who has faced marital discord has labored over these and many more questions.

There are a few simple, yet not so easy, strategies our counselor helped my husband and I to employ when we literally couldn’t come together without it turning our convergence into a screaming match.