Dear Journeyer,
Earlier this week, I asked you to name one of the stumbling blocks that holds you back from healing, from living your best life, even in the face of adversity.
One of our neighbors responded with a single word: Time.
Oh, Time, what a two-sided hat you wear: Friend. Foe.
It’s true, isn’t it? Sometimes the hands on the clock seem to barely move…
When we’re sitting in the waiting room before an exam…
When we’re waiting by the phone for the doctor to call with our results…
When the words we’re hearing are unpleasant to our very core…
Sometimes it seems as if the universe is pausing, making sure we feel every fiber of that torturous experience…
Even when we’re waiting to hear the results of something like the Hay House book proposal contest!
The flip side to that quicksand time is the blip time.
When something satisfying happens, it’s as if time disappears like a shooting star.
One second we see its brilliance, and the next it’s gone.
These perceptions are magnified when we’re grieving.
Our sense of time becomes even more distorted when we are in the presence of others.
In the wake of tragedy, we often receive an influx of attention from our neighbors.
Ironically, this service often arrives at a time when we’re in shock, when we can’t articulate our needs, and at a time when we need or want little more than to turn back the clock, to change the outcome of whatever ordeal has brought us strife.
Long before we have the energy to get out of our pajamas, or begin to recognize a gentle breeze blowing across our cheeks, our neighbors who weren’t as deeply affected by the loss have returned to their normal lives.
They are not only putting on fresh clothes, they seem to be getting out of bed without trouble, laughing with friends, doing laundry, cooking dinner, being productive without effort…
To those whose souls are filled with sorrow, Time seems to prefer the (perceived) joyful.
What do we do? We begin to rush our grief, to take literally the platitudes that are our sources of inspiration and are often our only models for healing.
We tell ourselves that we have to look for those silver linings, open doors, and make merry with glasses of lemonade.
What these well-intentioned clichés fail to acknowledge is the very thing that fills the space between the closed door and the open one: our bereavement.
More specifically, the time it takes each of us to pull together the pieces of our own grief puzzle. I like to say, “Time (Yours) Heals all Wounds.”
Each loss affects us in different ways, and each misfortune impacts each of us in different ways for we bring to the table different experiences, attachments, and perceptions.
We not only do ourselves disservice, we delay the healing process when we compare ourselves to others, when we calculate our healing time based on the way we view other’s actions, attitudes, and supposed achievements.
This is one of the key components of The Five Facets Philosophy: That we possess everything we need to heal, in our own wayand in our own time.
If Time is holding you back from living your best life in the face of adversity, you might find additional inspiration hereand here.
Will you choose Time as your friend or your foe?
Before we part, I’m running a giveaway for a signed copy of Digging for the Light: One Woman’s Journey from Heartache to Hope, a writing journal, and one of The Five Facets’ customized mugs! Please head on over and get your entry in! This contest ends January 21, but don’t despair if you miss it! Subscribe to our newsletter and updates by e-mail and watch for future giveaways. 🙂
Before we part, I’m running a giveaway for a signed copy of Digging for the Light: One Woman’s Journey from Heartache to Hope, a writing journal, and one of The Five Facets’ customized mugs! Please head on over and get your entry in! This contest ends January 21, but don’t despair if you miss it! Subscribe to our newsletter and updates by e-mail and watch for future giveaways. 🙂
Until we meet again,
Yours in hope, healing, and happiness,
~AE
5 Comments on “Healing and the Two Sides of Time”
this is just beautiful and very true. Thank you for giving me my thought for the morning.
Thank you, Carol, for reading and commenting. This is a great compliment coming from you… 🙂
I’m glad to include you as a neighbor…
I’ve always suspected that grief doesn’t happen in time, at least as we know it. It just happens. Given that I’ve refocused my career energies after the loss of my TV blog, I thought I was I was doing pretty well. Until the other day when a combination of no sleep and my already present fears made me realize I’m still working through that loss. Thanks for the good thoughts, Annah.
You’re most welcome, Anne. Thanks for reading and responding! I appreciate your presence! Too often we don’t think about loss in forms other than the death of a person or a pet, but the death of a job or a dream can affect us just as significantly. As grief and healing go, there is a perpetual dance between the two…
Sending positive vibes and well wishes for your newest endeavors!
Yours in hope, healing, and happiness,
~AE
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